Runfessions

I don't like beer. Never have, never will. I don't get excited about the beer being served at post-race parties or being handed out by spectators. At races I always bypass the beer tent altogether. I am probably the only runner who will ever attend a beer run purely to socialize, not to drink. (I can already hear the collective gasps of horror spreading rampantly across the Milky Way Galaxy.)

I am prepared to get kicked out of the running union (and perhaps even the human being union) for this. I am also prepared to be served my papers:

While we're at it...

I don't like coffee, either. I don't understand how so many people can drink such bitter stuff. I will never understand the Starbucks craze. Nor will I ever understand the need to have coffee first thing in the morning in order to function properly.

More horror of horrors, I know. Bring on my severe flogging and more papers:

My apologies to all of you that I have offended with my anti-alcohol and anti-caffeine words. But on a reconciliatory note - if anyone ever wants to ensure that my allotted drink coupon doesn't go to waste at races, I am always happy to give it away to the first person that asks for it!

Moving right along...

I don't like seeing my reflection when I am running. It doesn't matter if it's via store windows, in a mirror, whatever. I get self-conscious of my form, especially when I am tired.

For the same reason, I don't particularly enjoy looking at my race photos. It's pretty rare for me to find a race photo of myself that I like. Probably four times out of five I cringe when I see the evidence of things like my strangely supinating feet and my t-rex arms.

On that note, I am a running hypocrite. If anyone else said about themselves what I just said about my own running form or other things, I wouldn't hesitate to tell them that they were being absolutely ridiculous and that nobody notices these things or cares. But somehow, it's very difficult for me to believe this myself.

You all already know that I have a problem with collecting running shoes. I've got eight pairs of running shoes in my closet right now. Two pairs are effectively retired, meaning that I don't run in them any more but will still wear them to bike, attend fitness classes, etc. One other pair has been downgraded to "junk" status, meaning that I will only wear them to run in crappy weather. Recently I have been trying to pile the miles onto a single pair of shoes so that I can move them out of rotation. However, that doesn't change the fact that I still have five active pairs of running shoes. Yet, every time I hear about an online running shoe sale or pass by a store that sells running shoes, I am always still tempted to add to the collection.

Sadly, this isn't too far from the truth.

I often wonder why I am a runner. Running is extremely challenging in so many different ways. It drives me to sacrifice social time and/or sleep. I've run in blizzards, searing heat, pouring rain, through numerous injury pains, and at all hours of the day or night. It's a much more expensive activity than most people realize. I'm not even that good at it! Yet I keep plugging away. (By the way - I completed Day 4 of my Runner's World Running Streak today.)

I fall into the comparison trap far too often. It's hard for me not to compare myself to others and wonder why I am not more talented, stronger, faster, etc. For this reason, I get upset at myself a lot. This goes beyond running into many other aspects of my life. I am trying to focus just on controlling what I can control and letting everything else go. But, it is by no means easy.

Thanks to Marcia for inspiring me on the topic of runfessions. If any of you have any runfessions to share, I would love to hear them!